Transitioning: Barcelona, Month 1 – The In Between

Journal extracts

“24/06/15 Ten days in, and it’s an awkward time at the mo. This transition business is a strange yet familiar place to me. I have been here twice before  in my life, once when i moved to Tenerife aged 14, Then again when i moved back to London aged 20. And you know what? it doesn’t change , you don’t get a free pass- you still have to transition.

I’m filled with a mixture of conflicting feelings, almost all the time these past few days.  unsettlement, uncertainty,  a lot of hope, finger and toes crossing topped with a sprinkles of intermittent fits of happiness, then before long i’m back to worry. Shit just got super real , it remains a frame in time that i struggle to pensive as real because it’s not what I usually portray as reality. The scenery, the rhythm, the rules are all different, It’s not a holiday but it’s not living here yet either.

I have absolutely no real idea of whats going to happen to us, everything is alien yet exciting, and I know it’s where I want to be right now and just pray to god that everything works out. Then that little voice in the back of my mind reminds me that there is a possibility that all could go wrong. suppose we can’t get jobs suppose we get don’t like it here,  suppose we use all our money trying to start a new life and we end up penniless and having to run back to our old life with our tails between our legs!!! suppose suppose,suppose suppose.

As you can see i’m a Worrier but what you may not see is that im also a Warrior – So, i know, no matter which way this works out  i will have gone up or gone down fighting  – There’s no way I can predict what going to happen but, i can decided on how i spend the right now – and even though i may dip in and out of “the dark place” I choose to embrace this In between. – Enjoying it to the fullest, whilst also getting on with the things that i have to do in order to eventually gain little more piece of mind:)

 “1/07/15 – YAY after 1,5 weeks of going back and forth up and down Fern, is re registered back into his native community . One down, me to go 🙂  I’m sure a few weeks of more bureaucracy bollocks and foolishness lay ahead in that regard so, for now im gona bask in this victory. Steak dinner tonight!!

“04/07/15 – starting to feel a little less unsettled now fern’s paper work sorted. The flat is starting to feel like a home, the neighbourhood is starting to feel like a place that we could belong too.  I  still have worries and doubts , that therefore don’t allow me to fully submerge into getting to comfy. I’ll exhale once one of us is in work.

That being said I haven’t let these thoughts stop me from enjoying myself.:)  Hello!!!  – we have been up to quite bit over the past 4 weeks –  the highlights for me have been celebrating sant Joan, and international music day (weekend) as well as thoroughly exploring our neighbourhood and the gothic quarter on foot, oh and I can’t t forget our daily walk  along the beachfront – like many of the usual characters we see as we stroll, I feel we are slowly becoming a part of the beach life scenery too.”

“14/07/15 – Feeling good. Since my last post I have relaxed into the life a little more. Stopped stressing about what might happen later and focusing simply enjoying my time here, taking things one step at a time,  and remembering to smile – I’m happy 🙂

Not been up to much this last 10 days in terms of further city exploration, instead  we have continued to spend time at home, as well as in our close and immediate surroundings. Through this, minor routines have begun to form such as our daily work outs, our aforementioned daily stroll, Monday food shop, and Sunday dinner. Barcelona is starting to feel a little more like real life and a little less like make belive.

Fernando also finished his CV  this week which means any day now the job search will begin – eek!!!! I am having so much fun with him,  im not ready to let go of my partner in crime just yet – This is the most time we have spent together in the past 5-7 years. I think we should take a week to just hang out and have fun, for what will be the last real-time together and his last free(dom) time, before the consuming job hunt begins and the darning work life that will follow soon after – be that as it may,  I must admit it would be nice to have an income coming in again, plus now he’s sorted(ish), we/I can start working on getting myself sorted also – .( not that im in any rush to get back to work, clearly 😉 )  I finally have an appointment in 2 weeks time to renew my NIE ( foreigners identification number)  after which  like Fernando, I will once again become part of spanish Community.However going by the past months bureaucracy nightmare, of getting Ferns sorted, not to mention the frustraiting process of getting this appoinemt in the first place,  i’m sure it won’t be straight a forward task but, I can hope.

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This next 30 days of transition will be very interesting, im sure. I’m looking forward to more changes and progress, set backs and tears, followed by high fives and smiles, but most of all I’m look forward to the summer sun and just begin here in Barcelona.

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